Gratitude for Crazy Women

On Monday my mother went to the beauty shop to get her holiday “do.” The shop is operated by Darla, a nice looking woman in her early thirties. Like many beauticians, Darla makes something of a fetish of her appearance, but she does it to reasonably good effect. Her makeup is slightly more than subtle, and her short blond hair is spiked. She is the daughter of a flamboyant local preacher and inherited religious fervor plays an important role in the daily life of her shop.

As Darla flips and clips she talks incessantly about her close relationship with Jesus. It seems that no aspect of her life is too small not to be the subject of the Lord’s careful consideration. She speaks as if her will is entirely surrendered to Jesus, and her daily life requires nothing more than complete and uncritical agreement.

She has a serviceable voice and when the spirit moves her - and the spirit moves her often - she breaks into a full throated rendition of an old time gospel hymn. Occasionally, as she gathers speed in the direction of the second verse, she’ll stop, take an unexpected turn and say, “Did I tell you that I was talking to the Lord last night…?”

Mom listens for the singing to stop, because there’s no telling what might come after that question. Mom will drop the Reader’s Digest into her lap and begin paying careful attention. Darla’s conversations with the Divine are offered in the form of dialogue. First Jesus will say this, and then Darla will say that, suggestions will be offered and decisions made... all in the space of a few moment’s conversation with her Lord and Savior.

A few months back Darla paused in the middle of “A Closer Walk With Thee,” circled a blue roller with someone’s brown hair and then turned to the women sitting along the wall.

“I was talking to the Lord last night and you won’t believe what he said to me.”

The woman whose hair was being curled rose to the occasion, “Really? What did he say?”

The beautician waggled her scissors at the women seated in a row of black Naugahide chairs, “He said, ‘Darla I’m tellin’ you to go off the pill, and right now.’”

One of those women seemed slightly scandalized that Jesus would delve into affairs so private. “Why no!” she said, “Jesus told you that?”

“As I live and breathe he did. And you know what else he told me? He said that I was goin’ to have a baby boy.”

The woman surprised at the Lord’s impropriety needed to know more, “A boy, Darla? He told you you were havin’ a boy? And what did you say?”

“Believe me, you sound like you're surprised, but I can tell you that I was totally shocked. I stood there all agape, looked at Jesus and said… ‘are you sure?’”

Those are probably not the words that Moses would have used as he knelt before an awesome God, but at the time Darla thought it was a pretty good question. She was probably right, and Darla’s reaction set to one side, I wonder at her husband’s response to this momentous revelation. For the sake of mom’s beautician I hope that he is also a very strong believer.

Our family has had a few good laughs at Darla’s expense. For the last few years the quirks of this crazy woman, and her strange collection of customers, have been comedy offered up on the installment plan.

Frankly, I think she probably is a certifiable nut. Yet today I find myself thinking about another woman who had to deal with a similar impertinent request. Maybe she looked up at the angel Gabriel and said, "Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”

Maybe… and all apologies to Luke, but I think “Are you sure?” sounds a lot more credible.

Whichever response was closer to the truth, at least for the rest of this week I’m inclined to be grateful for crazy women, and particularly grateful for crazy women of astounding faith.